Loss.

"I guess by now I should know enough about loss to realise that you never really stop missing someone- you just learn how to live around the huge gaping hole of their existence" - Alyson Noel

Experiencing the loss of someone who is close to you is a terrible thing and shouldn't be wished upon anyone. There is so much death and pain in the world that even if you aren't religious, you have to find another way to look at it. Otherwise then why should we bother? Why are we here?

The way I see it, people die when they have given all they can to the world. You might be thinking how could an innocent child have given all they can already? In my view they have. Maybe that child has affected your life so much that you change the world. For example, someone dying of cancer could be the ignition one needs to find a cure for millions of other people. On a smaller scale, even if that person causes you to act differently and therefore changes your actions in other peoples lives, then that's enough. Life is a domino effect.

Although it's a terrible thought, one person dying for another to live, I think it is a beautiful way to look at someones life. That person has served a purpose. That person is loved. That person is important. 

No matter how old, how small, their occupation, location, wealth, status... people are people. They are all important and they all serve a purpose, no matter how big or small. And it is tragic when one is lost. 

When a person passes away, no matter how hard it seems to accept the thought that they won't be in the world anymore, you must go on. You must live with the remembrance of them and with the knowledge that their purpose in life has been fulfilled. It is painful to live in a world that they aren't. But life continues on, time keeps ticking and the world keeps spinning.

There is never an easy way to do it, to move on. I don't think anyone really ever 'moves on'. All we can do is pick ourselves up and keep going. Keep doing whatever it is you are meant to do, eventually things might start to seem normal again. But don't forget...

Celebrate their life.
Celebrate their achievements.
Celebrate their purpose, for it has been fulfilled. 

Love, Nicole Marie

Stop. Revive. Survive.

'The greatest thing you can give yourself is a little of your own attention' -Anthony J. D'Angelo

In Australia, there is a campaign to stop fatigue on the road. It's called, 'Stop. Revive. Servive.' This saying is widely know in Australia and aims to avoid car crashes and ultimately save peoples lives.

We can apply this to our every day lives. Sometimes we work too hard and we bite off more than we can chew. At this point you are driving alone, late at night and slowly moving a few kilometres above the speed limit. Eventually, your body starts telling you that it's had enough and needs a break. This can come in the form of a mental breakdown, getting sick or just feeling extremely tired. This is when your eyes start to close and the sweet escape of rest takes over your body. Let's call this the 'crash' point.

Once you have crashed, it comes time to face the consequences. In the most extreme cases, it is impossible to recover. This could be because of the damage to yourself or another person, both equally as tragic.

In order to minimise the casualties it is okay to stop (whatever it is that is so important that you are doing), revive (take a break or just some time to yourself) and survive.

Love, Nicole Marie

Actions define priorities.

'Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions' - Dallin H. Oaks

I was reading my business text book and came across an interesting idea that applies to our everyday life. The textbook talks about how actions define priorities. It teaches us that to find out a businesses true intentions, look at its actions NOT simply its words. This will then reveal the 'real goals' of the business.

If you blind yourself to these actions, you would only be able to see the 'stated goals', this being what the business 'officially' states to the public. Without being able to see past this, you are sucked into deception by the business and allow yourself to be disappointed. 

Being able to determine someone's actions can carry a business to success, or in some cases, save yourself from heartache. It is similar to our own interactions with people. People can say what they are feeling or what you want to hear, but without looking at the actions behind their words it is impossible to see where their true priorities lie. Sadly, a lot of people can talk the talk but they can't walk the walk, thus exposing their true priorities that lie beyond their words.   

Life is a business. With everything we deal with in life can be seen as a business transaction. Maybe if we treat life like we would treat a business, we wouldn't get hurt. We can do this by making choices from our brain instead of our heart. So next time think about it, think about what their actions are behind their words. This reveals people's true priorities. Find people who don't just tell you that they care, find people who will show you.

Love, Nicole Marie

Priorities.

'No one is really busy. It all depends on what number you are on their priority list.' - Popcherry

It is necessary to create priorities. To make that list in your head placing things of higher importance over other aspects of your life. For example, watching the new episode of pretty little liars takes priority over tonight's homework.

It is possible that priorities can be flawed. As humans, we are guilty of placing some things in the wrong order, simply due to selfishness or maybe lack of self control. The harsh truth of life is that people prioritise other people. Most people put their family or themselves first, placing friends lower on the list. This is completely understandable however it is when people are discluded from the list that relationships start to breakdown.

Sometimes the reality is that people will put other things above you. They will get so caught up in their busy lives that something needs to give and unfortunately that may be you. You will get bumped down a few places on their priority list but hopefully you will still be on it. Being at the bottom of someone's priority could possibly be worse than being completely off it. All relationships take an equal amount of effort from both people. If you place someone higher on your priority list than they do for you then disappointment is unavoidable. All you can do is reevaluate your own list.

Love, Nicole Marie

Caring.

'Some people care too much, I think it's called love' Winnie the Pooh

There are some qualities that are initially seen as an asset to your personality. Like anything, it can quickly become a weakness if used too much. For example alcohol. Many people become addicted to the substance. They crave it everywhere they go, they feel it even when it isn't there and it is always consuming their thoughts to a stage when it is all they can think about.

We all have to balance our inner qualities for without this balance you are sucked into an addiction that is hard to escape from. For me this asset that has become a weakness is caring. Up until now I didn't think that there was such thing as caring too much, but now I see the truth. For me, there are certain people who I can't help but worry about, think about them, check up on them and generally make sure they are doing okay.

When these people don't return my concern it is heartbreaking. Some people can't give you the same amount of attention that you give them and that is life.

So is it possible to care to much? Is it possible that the most compassionate side of you can become your weakness? From my experience I am going to say yes. However we can't let the fear of rejection or the fear of getting hurt take away pieces of ourselves, even when we could be the ultimate cause of our own destruction. How you act speaks of your character. So keep these weaknesses for this compassion in your heart makes you, you. 

Love, Nicole Marie